Google Analytics reworking

I got an email from the Googleplex regarding my Analytics account, excerpt below.

First, due to extremely high demand, we’ve temporarily limited
the number of new signups as we increase capacity. This allows
us to focus on our primary objective–to provide a great user
experience for our existing users.

They go into detail about which specific features are going to be affected, but I think this speaks pretty highly about the users Google can muster up for a new product offering. I wonder if they will (or have) ever get to the point where they would sell that to another company? Just wondering.

Luckily I signed up for my Analytics account days ago. After than the first few days of no reporting I figured it was just another account I would have set up, but then I saw a post that said it had been improved. I checked it out and found that it was a pretty neat tool. It could be done from server logs as well, but the usability of Google’s offering is very nice.

Just like his name says, this guy speaks the truth about porn on the IPod. I guess.

Pretty much everyone knows that pornography is what’s driven innovation on the Internet for years. Age verification, anonymous credit card sales and directory authentication with .htaccess are just some of the things we can thank the porn industry for bringing into the limelight.

This guy claims that there is a running corporate hush up which KNOWS porn on the video IPod will be a HUGE industry, but doesn’t want to call attention to it for fear of persecution. This is almost surely a valid concern to every red blooded American. dangerous products.

Wait until creepy old men to walk up to their kid, tempting them with what looks like the new Harry Potter movie at first, but then slowly fades into DVDA. I’m sure we’ll get some great legislation out of that. Maybe congress can subpoena someone.

Simpson blackboard quote

On The Simpsons the other day the chalkboard quote said “Do teachers still make students do this anymore?” I don’t think I’ve ever had to do this once in my 16+ years of school, but I did have write lines when I was in a private school in Austin. The punishment was 10 pages and I don’t remember what the entire sentence was, but I know it has the word “iniquity” in it. I guess fourth graders in private school have a larger vocabulary than those public school-ers.

I got the punishment on Friday along with another guy in class, though I don’t remember what we did, but he forgot to write the sentence down or something, because I got a call from the kid’s mother later on that day to get it. When she called me up and I read it to her she laughed out loud when I got to the word “iniquity” and asked me to repeat it. I don’t remember thinking it was funny then, but it sure it now. Ha ha.

Some Simpsons chalkboard information

the spit that almost got away

Dylan has started the teething process so he drools pretty much constantly. He really likes to try and jam as much of his fist in his mouth as he can so he can churn up a nice frothy load of spit. I figured that his deal was to try and christen as much as he could with his drool, but the other day I saw him dribble drool out of his mouth, it was growing like a stalactite on steroids, and then suck every last bit of it back into his mouth. Then he laughed; oh how he laughed.

It was then that I realized that his true goal was to get as much filth in his mouth as he could. He does this knowing that in order to generate a really nasty crew that you have to get rid of the clean drool, but don’t throw out the dirty drool in the process. Kids are probably the epitome of nastiness, with their hands in and out of everything and back into their mouth.

I guess FOX will always have American Idol

I was just telling someone how cool of a show Arrested Development is/was, and then I saw this post about it AND Kitchen Confidential getting cancelled. Kitchen Confidential was by no means a stellar show, but it did have interesting characters and plots. I can only hope that this is just a rumor that hasn’t come true yet. Remember FOX, Seinfeld didn’t catch on until the fourth season; have a little patience you punk bitches!

My voting experience

Like any other complacent citizen, I found out the night before that Election Day was coming up. Voting seems pretty pointless most of the time, but I feel like it’s one of the little things you can do to help you feel like you have a say in the world. Usually we try to do the early voting thing in order to allow us to go to different locations than just our home district, but lack of planning prevented this.

I did a search for houston voting locations and found a nice little voting locater on State Representative Scott Hochberg’s website, so I used this to find out that we needed to go to the local Baptist church to vote. This makes total sense, since everyone knows that whole “separation of church and state” thing is a fad. We gathered up the child and set out for the church passing our neighbor on the way, who was pretty tickled that people our age were actually voting.

I’m not sure how elections boards find workers for the voting booths, but it seems like they raided the local retirement home to get enough people to work the lines, since everyone who worked there was well over 60. I gave them my name but they couldn’t find me on their list, but Brandy’s name was so they started the process of getting her a booth. After not being able to find my name they tell me that I won’t be able to vote, but if I wanted to fill out a provisional ballot I could. I’m thinking this isn’t so bad, since I sure don’t want to track down and go to the district I actually have to vote at, but I decided to check and see what this meant. When asked what the difference was they tell me, WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, that a provisional ballot doesn’t count toward election results.

After a few puzzled looks and questions I get them to give up the number to the voting authority that will tell you the location you need to vote at according to your registered address, which was a Courtyard Marriott down the street, so I head down there. Apparently the Courtyard decided that they would get there workers from local schools instead of raiding the old folks home, because all of the workers there looked like they were just a few years out of middle school. I know that if I was a candidate running for office I would want surly teenagers handling the ballot process, so I guess the election commission feels the same way.

To make a long story short, I got in, voted and out in less than 10 minutes, which was a super pleasure. Go voting!