Beastie Boys lyric plugin

I made this a while ago, but I figured I would clean it up and post it to share, since I’m a giving guy. It just prints a random Beastie Boy lyric in a specified place on your template. I wish there were WordPress plugin API hooks involving the content in the sidebar. I wonder what the logic was there? I guess makes sense; why would you need dynamic content in a sidebar? Had to try and use my sarcasm markup trick, and BOY am I un-impressed. Maybe I’ll get better at posting in a sarcastic way. I’m sure I’ll try again after I do the take down of the x-mas style sheet and try to come up with a winter/spring one. My graphics skills are an easy target.

Download for the plugin is below, weee!

bblyricsgenerator1_1.tar.gz (tarred and gziped)

Updated 01/09/2005 23:16:
Thanks to Paul for pointing out that the sql file had not been updated to include the identity column and therefore doesn’t work when implemented. I have made a new tar with the correct SQL file and updated the version. Ssorry about that Paul.

Sarcasm was needed

I was really missing out on using sarcasm posts, so I did a bit of searching for how others did it. Now it’s a pretty big no-no to do this, and there are some sites that were pretty against it, like this guy and this guy. Unfortunantly for me, most of what I say is sarcastic, so I went head and just added some style to do it for me in a span. I didn’t see a great way to pull it off nicley though, which was kind of annoying. I mean it’s sooo great. Code is below.

.sarcasm {
    color: #336633;
    font-style: italic;
    text-decoration: overline;
}

Update:

Of course, this nifty effect doesn’t show up if feeds are viewed through an aggregator. Great.

Powerful thoughts

Brandy and I have been running out of TV to watch, so we started tivoing Law & Order on TNT (they really know drama, but don’t know not to buy a dot tv domain) a few weeks ago. Since the show has been on for over a decade TNT can afford to play it a couple times a day and we’re always trying to keep up with it. We started making decisions on which shows to watch based on the actors in them, but we were kind of split down the middle on the male assistant DA, though we agreed which females we liked the best. Brandy has a crush on Chris Noth so she especially liked the ones with him (and I think he’ll be making a comeback soon). One actor we hands-down liked was Jerry Orbach but we couldn’t figure out whether he was alive or not. I guess the reasons for us to like him depended greatly on this status, though I’m not sure why. I double checked last night and found out that he was alive after all, imagine our happiness! Today I got this email from Brandy.

To: Jason
From: Brandy
Subject: Jerry Orbach

Breaking news on ABC’s site is that he just died, probably because you and I have been trying to figure out if he was alive or not. That’ll teach you not to ask questions!

I just hope that our powerful thinking didn’t kill him. Aside from a few hokey Murder She Wrote appearances we were huge fans.

XMas Signs

The Bridges/Politz/Cumberland xmas party turned into a laugh riot due to the flashing of gang signs. Hilarity ensued.

   

We’re going to be parents…

Working on the house yesterday, attention was called to the plant in the kitchen window sill that was slowly dying. The plant has had a long run with our family. It was a gift from Brandy’s mom commemorating some occasion of some sort that I don’t remember that well.

Now Brandy has never been one to keep plants alive for very long so I kind of dismissed it’s arrival, thinking it would die within the
week. But that plant managed to hold on for months, through construction, vacations and apathy. I didn’t know if she was watering the
plants or just if they were sucking moister out of the air, so one day I asked Brandy how they were getting watered. Turns out if she
passed the plant with a beverage she would pour some in, regardless of what the beverage was. Afterwards I saw her pour sprite in it
so she could toss the can away. Nice life.

So leave it to say I was not surprised at this time that the plant was finally dead. Then today I noticed that the plant had been
moved to the bathroom sink. It kind of had a morgue look to it there, with the same green and white background, so I was immediately creeped out. Then I started thinking it looked like the plant from The Little Shop of Horrors, and I had to make sure it was out of the house quickly. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted it to meet with a nice ending, given it’s long run with us. So I put it in the dumpster for pickup the next day.

And we’re going to be parents. Pretty scary.

 

This special day of memory

In memory of Pearl Harbor Day I had the kitchen counters installed. This should be the next-to-last installment of the “Kitchen Remodeling”. I figure should do a summarization for the sake of brevity. If I ever decide to do another kitchen I hope some one will remind me that I hate it. I have updated photos here, but I’ll be making a new album with just kitchen stuff pretty soon to remedy some complaints.

Dealership ransom

Brandy and I had been inundated with minor car trouble recently and we decided to take the vehicles of shame into the shop the other day. I had been living with on-again off-again A/C for a few months (in Houston no less) and Brandy had a “Service Engine Soon” light show up in addition to a broken back seat that wouldn’t collapse. Brandy’s truck came first (mostly because mine came as an after thought) because we had to go to the dealership and drop it off, then pick up a rental car.

I guess getting a rental car for the day and not having to be the guy with no car is almost worth having to deal with the douche bags at car dealerships, though you do get the glory of dealing with the Enterprise Scam as well. The Enterprise Scam revolves around the idea that Enterprise is aware that insurance companies and warranty companies are only willing to pay for Geo Metros and the like. The Scam has to do with the fact that Enterprise only stocks its lot with Tahoes and monster trucks (does it have a hemi?). Believe me, you will never get your “free rental” for free.

Afterwards we dropped my truck off to get the A/C fixed and took off for the house. We both got the calls from our respective mechanics, mine early in the morning and hers late that afternoon only after she called to see if her car was still even around, telling us the cars are ready, but her mechanic tells her that not only is the car ready but they did non-warranty work without getting approval for it (on the seat) and now she owes $80. As they get into a small argument about this he decides that he think he can ‘get the price down’ to $60, but he’s ‘just not sure’. Now Brandy is hopping mad and we head up to the dealership to have a battle.

When we get to the dealership we talk to the service representative, let’s call him Stacy, and ask him why they would have fixed the seat knowing it was not warranty work. His claim was that the mechanic had found the problem very quickly and just decided to fix it before getting approval. Stacy then went on to say that at the time he had thought it WAS warranty work, but things had changed since he last worked there. He then went on to take off his cap, point to his head, and explain that he had been on leave the last four months due to brain cancer (picture the dramatic hat tip to show the scar coupled with the sad face ). Brandy hasn’t played the preggo card to get out of paying the bill yet but he’s going to play the brain cancer card to get us to pay up? Oh no, he did not just do that! At this point Brandy and I are finding it hard to keep from rolling our eyes and vomiting at his pitiful attempt to elicit our sympathy and pay him for the services he NOW claims that his mechanic spent 2 WHOLE HOURS ON. At this point Stacy was told that he never had approval for these services so we were not going to pay his ransom, and it was at this point that he told us he would ‘go talk to his manager’ and that he would ‘be right back’.

After his departure we went over the dramatic hat time and rolled our eyes a bit, obviously feeling very sorry him and his plight. Several minutes passed and he comes back and very intently types a few things into his terminal, but eventually informs us that ‘he is not sure he can get the price to change’ and for some reason the only person that knows how has left for the day (perhaps this is why he waited until after 5 to call and have me pick up the car- too late for me to verify coverage with the warranty customer service line or have the great cashier available to change billing). To this we delivered blanks stares, which he met by leaving mumbling some thing about getting some one else to do it. I was amazed that they had enough redundancy in the dealership to be able to have TWO PEOPLE able to back up each other’s jobs, but not the foresight to inform people of this marvel. Amazing efficiency! He returned for a second time, this time with the keys to the car, and had us sign our exit papers. Surprisingly enough he was able to waive the fee that mere moments ago was something that HAD to be settled, at least partially. As we exit his office into the dock he mumbles something about ‘owing’ his mechanic and ‘making it up to him’ in some other way. I hope it involves anal penetration because I was starting to feel I was the only one getting fucked. Regardless, I’m glad he was able to work something out because I would sure hate to get these fine salespeople in trouble.

Xmas design

I changed up the style sheet a little to celebrate my xmaas spirit, since I was feeling extraordinarily festive. I kind of think the red looks kind of gaudy, but going darker made it seem less xmas-like, so gaudy it is.

Traveling searches

I had the pleaseure of flying during the week of Thanksgiving for a business trip to Deerfield, IL for a four day stint. I had been there for a day or so when I noticed this notice laying under the floor near my suitcase. Apparently TSA had determined that my clothes and bathroom things were suspicious and had to search them or else they have a quota on how many of these they have to insert, like Hare Krishnas. I thought it was an isolated incident until I found another one in my suitcase upoin opening it at home, this one much more apparent. I wonder what the criteria is to have to search the checked luggage, whether it’s a random sampling (eeney meeny for the TSA) or dependent on the dark spots in the bag from dense objects? I read here that fruitcakes are discouraged, which dashes any gift ideas I had this year. I was all prepared to ship fruitcakes via airplane to all my gift deserving homies, but I guess now I’ll just have to pass.

It’s an alien!

It’s supposed to be this great miracle, and I imagine that one day the thing will grow up and be a fun person to talk with (especially with parents like us). However, I can’t shake the feling that it loks like alien, and makes Brandy a little crazy somethimes. I just compare it to sea monkeys that actually grow and talk back one day. Here is a pic of the to-be addition:

First looks:

Validation:
An alien!